Dept of Education To Buy 27 Shotguns

It takes a lot to have me at a loss of words.  You can thank the Department of Education for finding a way to shut me up.

I can see the need for them though:

Kindergartener: Mrs Smith, I don't feel like taking a nap right now.

Mrs Smith pumps the handle on her Remington 12 guage.

Kindergartner: "Zzzzzzzz."

On the bright side, this would certainly be an improvement over the "No Child Left Behind" program.

CDA2

Oprah and Drew Brees

Clearly Oprah isn't a fan of football.  At the least, she's never seen Drew Brees or a picture of Drew Brees.  Watch Oprah's reaction to Drew's facial birthmark.


I thought Oprah was going out on top.  So much for that!

CDA2

Child Gets Surgery On Wrong Body Part

Do you know anyone in Orange County, CA?  If they have a child that needs care, you may want to recommend they do NOT visit Children's Hospital.  A child received surgery on the wrong body part but a hospital statement claims no permanent harm was done.  That's laughable.  Are we supposed be reassured when they performed a surgery on the wrong body part in the first place?

The most terrifying part is this is actually the of third surgical mistake Children's Hospital in four years.  In 2006, a surgeon cut into the wrong side of the skull during brain surgery. In 2007, tubes were inserted into both of a child's ears instead of one.  And just last week, a surgeon was supposed to loosen a fold of tissue behind the child's upper lip but instead loosened tissue under the tongue.  In all cases, the mistakes were corrected and the children sent home.

CDA2

Female Bobsledder Splits Her Spandex

No jokes about this poor Olympian.  Let’s just put this BEHIND us and END the puns.   No more wiseCRACKS.  Let’s turn the other CHEEK.  After all, we don’t want karma to REAR its ugly head!  BUMMER, we’ve hit rock BOTTOM with all this joking.  Then again, bobsledders can take the abuse.  BUT(T) lesser athletes would not be able to take this punhsiment.  Or am I just over ANALyzing all of this?

CDA2

Top 10 Uncomfortable Facebook/MySpace moments

Social networking sites are wonderful. It gives you a chance to reconnect with old friends and keep up to date with current events involving loved ones.

It also gives you the opportunity to screw up your life (like hitting "reply all" to the e-mail that included your off-color remarks about your boss)! So I came up with my Top 10 potentially uncomfortable moments in the worlds of Facebook/MySpace. Scroll down slowly so you don't get ahead too quickly. Enjoy!

10. You just found out your mom deleted you as a friend.


9. While looking over your best friend’s "friends" list, you notice that most of them are half-naked guys… the problem is, your best friend is a dude.


8. You requested your boyfriend as a friend two weeks ago... and he still hasn’t accepted you.


7. Your girlfriend just changed her status from "in a relationship" to "single"… now you have to rush home to see if the locks are changed since you two live together.


6. Your girlfriend just added new pictures of her recent trip to Miami… you didn’t know anything about a trip to Miami… and who took the picture?


5. Your mom has a status update that says what her favorite sex position is...


4. ...your 13 year old daughter took the same quiz and the answer was every position is her favorite...


3. ...your pastor’s result was missionary!


2. Somebody fought you on Sorority Life today... it’s your boyfriend.


1. Your girlfriend has 973 "friends"... and 815 are guys... she went to an all-girl high school and college... not saying something's up... but if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck...

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Be sure to tip your server.

CDA2